A friend is someone
who knows the song
in your heart and can
sing it back to you
when you have
forgotten the words.
Skinny little white Irish man ( Dirty joke)
Skinny little white Irish man goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
Holes
An old lady dies and goes to heaven.
She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates
when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams.
Don't worry about that,' says St. Peter,
'It's only someone having the holes drilled into her
shoulder blades for the wings.'
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable
but carries on with the conversation.
A few minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams.
'Oh my Goodness,' says the old lady,
'now what is happening?'
'Not to worry,' says St. Peter,
'She's just having her head drilled to fit the halo.'
'I can't do this,' says the old lady, 'I'm going to hell.'
'You can't go to that nasty place,' says St. Peter.
'You'll be raped and taken advantage of.'
'Maybe so,' says the old lady,
but I've already got the holes for that.'
You're not scared of the dark,
You're scared of what's in it.
You're not afraid of heights,
Youre afraid of falling.
You're not afraid of the people around you,
Youre just afraid of rejection.
You're not afraid to love,
Youre afraid of not being loved back
You're not afraid to let go,
Youre just afraid to accept the reality.
You're not afraid to try again,
Youre afraid of getting
hurt for the same reason.
Soldier and nun
Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."
The nun agreed.
A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?"
The nun replied, "He went that way."
After the Military Police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, 'I can't thank you enough Sister You see, I don't want to go to war in Syria.
The nun said, "I understand completely."
The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen my balls....
I don't want to go to Syria either! 😜🤣
Beauty is about living your life
Beauty is about living
your life, and being happy
with yourself inside and
out, and not worrying
about what people think
of you.
All women are working women. Only a few are salaried
Forgiving someone
My life is so much easier
My life is so
much easier
on the days
when I
remember
that I can't
control
everything!
The struggle you are in today
the
struggle
you're in
today
is developing the
strength
you need for
tomorrow
Whisky is the answer but I dont remember the question
Whisky is the answer but I dont remember the question
The past is your lesson
THE PAST is
YOUR LESSON.
The present is your gift.
The future is
your motivation.
Sincere kisses...
AIRPORTS SEE MORE SINCERE KISSES THAN WEDDING HALLS.
THE WALLS OF HOSPITALS HAVE HEARD MORE PRAYERS THAN THE WALLS 0F CHURCHES.
I will come again and conquer you
I will come again &
conquer you because
as a mountain you
can't grow, but as a
human, I can.
Never take advantage..
Never Take Advantage of Someone Who Likes you.
NeverSay You're Busy To Someone Who Needs you.
Never Cheat On The One
Who Has Trust In You.
Never Forget Those Who Always Remember You.
Never let your friends feel lonely...
Never let your friends feel
lonely... Disturb them all
the time.
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever
will.” -Karim Seddiki
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