"I don't care if it is a beach towel, don't you dare lay on it"

Premature ejaculators

Man's greatest moments of great thoughts

Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will

"They want your underwear"

"So does vodka"

"In case you didn't notice, I'm wearing the same dress"

"In order to comply with privacy regulations, we are not allowed to call our patients by name"

Say your pray in your your style

Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

" I said, hold my calls"

Soon after taking up cycling, Jeff noticed a significant change to his body

"I couldn't sleep last night, cause my neighbors were having sex again"

Men will be men

Don't get upset with people of situations, both are powerless without your reaction

We never understand the real value of someone until that someone becomes memory

Don't regret growing older. It is privilege denied to many

That's his last meal request

AN APOLOGY FROM BELFAST GENERAL HOSPITAL ..

Dejabrew: Slowly remembering things you did while drunk

A foolish man complains of his torn pocket ...

Pray for stiffness

Naughty Norbert

Little Norbert was kicked out of Maths class by his teacher.

Milking machine ( Dirty joke)

A Farmer orders an expensive milking machine. 

He decides to test it on himself first, so he inserts his manhood into the equipment and turns on the switch. 

Feels great being the first one?

Black, white or brown. We all bleed the same. We are all human.

Nobody cares about your story until you win. So win

Age with grace, enjoy life !

*Age matters! 🤔*

*A group of old friends, all aged about 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch for their reunion.*

Q

Wome fuck who they

want. Men fuck who they

can. Remember that. 

How you see your future is much more important than what has happened in the past

You are not scared of dark, you are scared of what's in it

The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are

Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it

Women are simple !

Good friends don't let you do stupid things alone

Sometimes you just have to die a little inside in order to be reborn and rise again as a strong and wiser version of you

 

If you dont like the road you are walking, start paving another one

A woman can argue for three straight hours, but two minutes into a blowjob her jaw starts to hurt

We all die, The goal isn't to live forever. The goal is to create something that will

"This bottle of Viagra was full two days ago"

The art of oral sex

Test your stupidity

First computer

I think I promised to have 3 beers and be home by 10. I always get those two mixed up

A woman has the last word in every arguments....

....anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try

Someone else is happy with less than what you have

Normal is an illusion. Whatever normal for the spider is chaos for the fly

 

Knowing the truth, seeing the truth, but still believing the lies

 

  

Whatever or whoever makes you feel alive and free and grateful. Stay close

 

Celebrating anything without alcohol is like a blue film on a radio

I have a hard on

Nothing will bring you greater peace than minding your own business